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Humans on Planet Earth
Tips for Successful Conversations with Humans on Planet Earth
By Eugenia Tripputi
"Talk to Me, I’m Human!" Have you ever felt like telling (or worse—yelling!) this or a similar phrase to your boss, a coworker, or significant other with whom it seems impossible to have a conversation? In a world that prides itself for its advances in technology, we have surely gone backwards in some areas of communication, namely forgetting to use "the basics." I have found that we usually have no problems IMing (instant messaging) a cousin or brother across the planet but freeze up or utter the wrong words when we have to express ideas, confront conflict, or resolve interpersonal issues with the person working two cubicles down from ours.
But, do not despair; there is help! Remembering some fundamentals of conversations is a wonderful beginning, and you can be the initiator of change:
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No matter what title or personality style, people like to be talked with… Regardless of the actions individuals exhibit, we are adults —even if sometimes we do not behave as such. And each of us has a responsibility to make dialogue happen in a constructive way.
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Talk with—not to or down—other people on a regular basis, even if it means saying "hello" every morning. Developing
relationships, building trust, and establishing good communication is a process not a single event.
- Choose your timing wisely. Allow enough time and pick a date that is convenient for all the parties involved. We all have things in our minds, so, get into the habit of checking with the other person to see if the timing is right.
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Select the right place. If this is a work-related conversation, depending on the tone you want to set, an office or conference room should be chosen for more formal occasions. Finding neutral, more relaxed environments where you can minimize territoriality issues tend to be ideal. Be mindful of privacy and comfort levels with locations. If this is a personal conversation, opt for the good, old-fashioned "going out for coffee" strategy. But, choose a place quiet and private enough to talk.
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Have your discussions earlier rather than waiting until the last minute when it might be too late to address an issue or too emotionally charged. In other words, get into the habit of not letting things that bother you fester. Think about it as a wound. Unless you take care of it immediately, it will be much harder (or messy) to treat after some time.
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